Fresh poetic statement.

Because I need one that doesn't make me cringe when I look at it.

--

A body of work should create its own world, which takes on a life of its own. This world can be fantastic and surreal, but should bear a significant relationship to reality, whether in striving to resemble it or setting up in opposition to it. This is similar to Frankfurt's distinction between lies and bullshit: lies still stand in relation to truth, whereas bullshit disregards truth altogether.

The world in the body of work catches fire with a divine spark of truth. It can be a funhouse mirror, casting jaded and distorted likenesses back into our retinas. It can illuminate things that we dare not look at and hold us there, transfixed. It can soften the blow by showing us beautiful things that persist by grace.

Done rightly, it should sound internal silver bells of recognition and clarity.

The world can have mystery, beauty, darkness, ghosts, and passion. The world can have horror and moral outrage. It can contain utopias that shine brilliantly for a few hours or days before collapsing into dystopias. It can sharpen a dull knife into a piercing fear. It can make fun of us. It can have compassion on us. It can try to intercede on our behalf to God, with unknown results. It can be vengeance and wish fulfillment. It can breathe, play, pray. It can evolve and revolve around some author's unknown whims. It can be a book of Psalms. It can stand on its soapbox and denounce relational poverty. It can conspiratorially let us in on the joke.

The world, having taken on a life of its own, should have us frantically flipping pages back and forth to make translucent, spiderweb connections. It should alternately make us forget the physicality of the object we are holding, and then flaunt it. It should show us the virtues of places, times, and things we would otherwise ignore.

---

This is what poetry can do, but I am not sure if I can make mine do it.

From the mid-semester portfolio. I finally found it!
I'm not sure if this works as a title. It is a line from a rough draft of the long philosophy poem.

she becomes a test case of what true religion is

We need a face and hands to mediate this: women are commanded to be silent.
Please listen: does that verse really mean--
Yes, you've been endless trouble since you could read.
Your lyrics are dishonorable. If you will not be reticent, the marriage is off.
I can't argue against God on your side. I trusted you completely.
Universals work in my favor, so why should I explain otherwise? Truth is convenience and power.
Oh, Lord, he doesn't care what you say. Please save me.
Help me--
No. Did you expect this to be like one of your damned books? Clean the dirt off your face.
Wash off that blood. You are his burden now.

I am devoted. I will judge with truth.
They may be right, but their hearts are cold. They deny us our mediators. Lend them your light while you can, because the day will come when a wall separates us forever. If it is any consolation, God knows how much of your blood is on their hands.

Fingers brushed the edge of his robe. He could be touched.
We need a face and hands to mediate this.

First poetic statement

Everything in the world is in a state of deterioration, or slipping away. Theologically, this phenomenon stems from the moment creation and mankind fell. Everything struggles to be born in a state of peril.

Faith, in practice, is a stunted and stuttering motion, like dancing with sprained, broken, and bruised limbs. Our perception of reality, also, is like looking through dusty window panes or murky water.

There must be an effort to connect to previous generations of writers and thinkers; failing to do so is arrogant, disregarding all previous human experience as totally irrelevant to myself, now. Poetry can, and should, whenever possible, be informed / enriched / transformed by studying others.

Version 2

a philosophical commune edited the gospel to suit their theology because exclusivity was another attraction. they held ancient gods responsible for cycling of things do not create something from nothing.

these form a list of abominations
and counterfeit virtues:

we have no idea what we see,
needing scriptures for credibility.

matter was irreformable. fatalistic.


who teaches men to be fathers?
washing would incur even greater guilt.

who is the intermediary who shows us how to live?



does philosophy really dissolve those fetters?

rebind and rediscover.
sacraments are heart turns-


envy has a social aspect
the human city cannot save itself
even in its exilic condition
religion steps in to ease away this resentment,
of communities that fail because of disordered passions.
the wrong kinds of individuals

pregnancy is divine
they aren't sure it's physically their child
love is praiseworthy because of the benefits it yields
children are one result of love, but virtue is better



why is love depicted as desolate?
between understanding and ignorance
between mortal and immortal,
we cannot manipulate it

this good produces happiness
possessing that good forever
yearning for immortality is built in

understand our lives in a form other than narrative
if we became bored, maybe it isn't good
aren't things good because they are fleeting?
the good thing hasn't changed. you have.



this is how we "know" what something is
too simple, cannot be classified by parts or characteristics
therefore cannot be known.

an intermediate step toward no account of concrete love,
distance doesn't commit to anyone


a desire to distort the truth
friends can be dangerous
no passions distorted his judgment
and the person knows it isn't good

account for the inclination to turn away:
objects of love become bitter apart from God
then the soul becomes aware
exposes to us the existing misery
the theater showcases our perversity
what does the rest look like?

to be loved without these pitfalls
he needs to turn away from the mutable world

no lack of freedom
can put order into their love
we need salvation from this creature weakness
we need to reconcile our loves.


he falls off the ascent
makes promises he cannot keep

he orders all other sciences
to see what happiness is

animals can't
come crashing down

downward until God draws us back in
"I loved my fall"

no principle to evaluate
friendship is gratuitous
when speaking of all relationships as friendships
doesn't love himself befriend others?

you can make anyone blame this seeming discontent with modern acquaintances.
the matrix of friendship won't dismiss the idiosyncratic things that would separate us.
people are too weak and inconstant to nourish it into true virtue.
only invitation to grieve. care for the old.

no account needed to be confronted and modified
more questions can be incomplete

transforming providential rule created this knowledge in us
freedom is not necessarily the ability to choose

Coming up next...

Stay tuned for puzzle pieces, Polaroids, and Ferris wheels.

Sample cover letter.

Don't know how not to sound like a dork; keeping it short and sweet, here goes:


Dear Sarah Mangold,

Hi, I'm a student of Grant Jenkins who has just taken his Advanced Poetry Writing class at the University of Tulsa. He showed us a copy of Bird Dog, which I enjoyed particularly for the visual art.

My work combines poetry and photography by placing words on top of images. I am submitting "Deep," "Signs," "Post," "Arrow," and "Fence."

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
Crystal

Card spread.

My favorite thing about this method is the fact that I can't contrive the results. On the scanner bed I had to place the card fragments down first, then the intact cards. I could not see the outcome until I had done the scan, which is fun.

--
ence of
Ethics
cm.
dialogue by
in re-
rality
includes bib .dex Psychology
oral
lat
human life by
Library of Congress
ethics
rences
body
ing of
1. Man
2. Act
book of readings
OkTu
1/26/33

Flower tree.

Etude 9 - The end comes full circle

Task: Translate a text into a "vocabulary," mentioned in Etude 1.

Random page turn in Augustine's Confessions led me to Book VIII.3. I hope I don't mangle him too badly. It won't resemble him at all, particularly if I try to infuse feminist rhetoric into it. If you are a radical enough feminist, perhaps you impose feminism onto everything, in a heavy-handed manner. (I mean this as observation, not criticism, because people usually impose their most passionate beliefs / thought systems onto everything, a lot more than they realize. I read Christian theology in almost everything.)

Excessive Fear

The soul sounds gender-neutral at first
Until you read it in context:
Book I calls women weak
Shadowing the rest with ominous male gaze.
Souls are male, then, taking pleasure
in the continual possession of women.

Men triumph, glory, rejoice in naval battle
But women too are tossed among tumults
Growing pale, sick in mind, unable to walk
Recovering forgotten at home.

Men seek ordinary pleasures by way of
Women's difficulty and discomfort--
the kind which comes upon them
unexpectedly and against their wills.

The evidence is everywhere,
simply crying out: "It is so."

Etude 8 - Of the Now / Beyond Ego.

In keeping with the rules, I'm not revealing the identity of this (now-contrived) person. The person is contrived because it is impossible to truly step into someone else's perspective. Too many filters color this reality, but it seems this is the point.

narrator

television screen glow voices drone
i saw the look on her face--
you left her sitting there again.

driving five over
shuffle softly pages fingertips
wailing muffled despair colic cry room
shoes trip shuffles fall almost
sound most mouths stage whisper
nervous habit
clickclickclickclickclick
no smoke break during service
love thy neighbor
why don't you

because:
clickclickclickclick
rustle whimper sigh PDA
awkward greetings smiles fake fade
get me out of here

maybe i can hear you out there
pray in face of cold wind
away from latecomer inevitable
one more trip to the liquor store

Etude 6 - To be read in multiple directions.

This one will definitely have to be posted as an image. Update tomorrow.

---

[EDIT 7/23/09 ]

Card spread, flower tree, and the entire first draft of the book project fall into this category.

Etude 7 - Of fairytales and trauma

The original prompt for this one seemed fun and innovative, but I believe the assignment was changed during class. I was confused. I remember writing about actual personal trauma during class, and coming up with absolutely nothing of poetic interest. I also remember a discussion about poetry on trauma, in which it was said that there is no right way to do it. Whatever. I'll just go for it, using that day's brainstorming as my source text.

marginalia

answer for why relationships change
unbelievable consequences
the threat removed when necessary
declawed and pathetic:
I dare you
don't let that happen
myriad, newfound, forgotten
cry, scream, steal
erasure eventually
numbed with ice then sterilized with fire
pages scattered across the floor - [thud]

\\\

Etude 5 - Visual library research results

Task: Totally open-ended library research, presented in visual format.

Process: I became inexplicably excited about a stack of old, yellowed library catalog cards, like a huge nerd. Then I cut them up into little pieces, cast them like tea leaves or tarot cards, and transcribed some results. The stack of cards I grabbed all referenced books related to ethics and philosophy, which was cool. I even brought these fragments to two poetry readings and gave a little awkward demonstration, which might have been going a bit too far, but I thought the process was more interesting than the results, and the demo may have made my explanation less confusing.




*Note: These are not properly formatted here; I have to figure out how to post them as an image later.

1. Society
problems of ethics
and alive.
a book of graphical rences.
a dialogue. bookshop random title.

2. ethics in Re- press.
Pro edit age of conduct series:

3. Brown by label on t.p.
Washington Public
Requested by 1963.

4. the meaning
of readings
ethics in re-
label on
dies,

5. the language of duct
the meaning of goo
economic
oral
a, Ab, B

6. Reviewed in
conduct
society,
ess
ing
B 07

7. dead and alive
1905--
the rebel.
Includes
Series and
Ethics
sl

8. we live by
ethics in re-
society
Received [and] and
Morality
Studies

----
Here's a list of the word fragments on my card fragments; I've italicized my favorites.

the inner
Problems of Ethics
a book of readings
edited by
Ethics
Title
The Rebel
ordered
received
Edition
Approved by
Requested by
The meaning of good
a dialogue
morality and the language of conduct
list price
Series:
dies
label on
New University
Press
Studies
dead and alive
principles
introductory essay
life: a study
ethics in re-

---

So, I'll try making more, but this time I'm working from the above list, not the card fragments.

1. Press principles
label on introductory
Requested by a dialogue
edited by the inner list price
ordered life: a study
ethics in re-

Never mind, I like the random results a lot better.

Etude 4 - Gathering

Had this one in my portfolio. Can't access it this minute. Still needs editing.

Etude 3 - Babelfish translator.

First, a revision of my first attempt, which is about a character in my (ancient) Greek textbook. It ends up having nothing to do with the original subject, hopefully.

a woman can say

this is what it takes, for the intervention in that fight.
the scary histories make her explosion in the teardrops,
but ask you still in order to it finishes,
because the distress overcame the fear.

thus you leave him to be this in order to it decides.
it wanted it plays in the existence.
but it wanted them precisely in order to it.

no one for the intervention has occupied
blind extraordinary fear does grow
histories father the initiated women

individual, too much useless now
walk the thin line behind tiresias.

___

A new one, using a poem from my two year old portfolio. Random snippets of text from prose poem called "the ethics of survival." here are the snippets fused together:

even a hint of fighting each other awkwardly awakened at twilight exodus nightly proceeds could not understand never figure out no one would replenish truth deep brown with intricate something extraordinary only once a glint of broken glass blurry and unfocused manufactured imitation escaping into the earth. there, that's better. elaborate pirouettes claimed lily pads as a defiant public declaration. pleasure she derived haunting the courting lake set aside for her rest.

--

on a whim, I translated it into French:

même un conseil du combat que s'est maladroitement réveillé au montant crépusculaire d'exode de nuit ne pourrait pas comprendre ne figurent jamais que dehors personne ne compléteraient le niveau de la vérité brun-foncé avec complexe quelque chose extraordinaire seulement par le passé un reflet de l'évasion d'imitation manufacturée trouble et unfocused en verre cassée dans la terre. là, that' ; s mieux. les pirouettes raffinées ont réclamé des garnitures de lis comme déclaration publique provoquante. plaisir elle a dérivé hanter le lac de poursuite mis de côté pour son repos.

--
reconstituted English:

even a council of the combat that s' with the twilight amount d' is awkwardly awaked; exodus of night could not understand appear never that outside nobody would only in the past supplement the brown-dark level of the truth with extraordinary complex something a reflection of l' escape d' manufactured imitation hoop net and unfocused out of glass broken in the ground. there, that' ; S better. the refined pirouettes claimed trimmings of lily like causing public statement. pleasure it derived to haunt the lake of put continuation on side for its rest.

--

resulting poem:

after all that a reflection

nobody would haunt that outside
in the past supplement brown-dark complex
a council awkwardly awaked
never appear outside

refined pirouettes of the truth appear unfocused
derived from glass broken in the ground
only continuation
only rest
only broken

extraordinary

Etude 2 - Futurist Sestina

At least, this comes from a futurist sestina, which turned out to be dull because we weren't thinking far enough outside the box. I'll restrict myself to the phrases Russ chose, because I like them.

I think it was Carla Harryman who used three word titles, in I don't remember which book, in this format: "one. two. three." I can do without that punctuation, but I'd like to try some three word lines and see what it does.

x y z

wrong judgment shatter
pause crumpled before
lie fell green
you will pass
arrow judgment crimson
ball overtakes sky
wrong language forgotten
pierces came sorrow
wholesome trash fell

before happiness sorrow
Lord shatter myself

Etude 1 - Of Vocabularies

Preliminary expectoration:
I dislike jargon because it is counter-intuitive, confusing, and sounds clumsy, particularly in the fields of politics, law, psychology, and feminism. Gratuitous profanity used for the sake of itself sounds unintelligent. It reminds me of the way I spoke in sixth grade, which unfortunately is the way a lot of adults still speak, and I think it would be nice if they grew up. I am in favor of an effective, well-placed profane word used in the right context.

I like simple and clean words that evoke vivid images. I should use more of them. I like philosophy and religion (so far, Dante, Kierkegaard, and Augustine), literature (Ray Bradbury and C.S. Lewis first come to mind), and the poetry of W.B. Yeats, T.S. Eliot, William Carlos Williams, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Charles Bukowski, Pablo Neruda, George Oppen, Louise Glück, Fanny Howe, Susan Howe, and Lisa Robertson.

I also like more complex vocabulary that is not jargon. Maybe what is most unappealing about jargon is its use. Jargon uses words in a way that make them seem meaningless and dead. It carries the unpleasant associations of know-it-alls, useless paperwork, and long "Terms of Service" agreements that no one ever reads. I am sure it is possible to redeem words and reinfuse them with life by placing them in different contexts, but I don't know if I can do it.

Process:
Playing with some vocabulary frames. Using Peter Brown's biography on Augustine as a source text, because it happened to be closest, and I like it. Flipping through random pages and using whatever phrases jump out -- unfortunately, my paper-writing process is similar.

five to nine

Some profound and ominous changes had taken place
A slight note of embarrassment lingers
An illustrious precedent described as a country idyll
sudden and unexpected show of independence
culminated in the conversion

paradoxically
the deep hurt of charity
prohibitively complicated
elaborate circumlocutions--
appeal, not to reason, but to the rooted feelings

posing of the unfathomable
she may have been guilty
deliberately defracted
preoccupied by
the existing bonds: so much raw material
to be subservient will fall out of favour
carefully sift fruitful intellectual confusion

----

An aside: After I finished that one, I realized how heavily it was influenced by my feelings about imminent graduation, so I titled it after my undergraduate years ('05-'09).